Feeling restless

   There is a restlessness about me.  I always think that I want to do this and that, but I can't because I need to do this and that first. Work. Chores. Priorities. Luxuries. Time. I was sleep deprived actually for a month now. I've been busy raising my four kids and haven't got the chance to accomplish even a single thing from my to-do list. My baby wants to be carried by me all the time even during the wee hours in the morning. He is such a mama's boy and always wanted me beside him. I have to feed him every two hours at night which keeps me awake the entire night. My three older boys have so many activities in school that includes the parents. I'm always present in all their activities which made my boys very happy. 

  Anyway, I need order in the house. Maybe that is why I am restless. The time I am home I constantly feel the need to putter around; I am always tidying up here and there. There is just so much to do. I am busy training my three new household staff right now. One of them is a nanny to assist me with my baby's needs. I had just finished making my housekeeping manual and I'm very much happy about it. Sometimes I feel like a headless chicken. I should be doing everything leisurely, really, because I seriously enjoy and love keeping house. Like the superwoman housewives of old. Like Martha Stewart in her many homes and Ina Garten in her kitchen( Oh, I love them so much!). I like the look and gracefulness of order. I am my own one-woman team so I guess it will just have to take a little longer to happen.

   I feel disjointed. I need to do this, but that seems more important right now. I'm running on hope, a plan, a self-esteemed deadline. I am constantly juggling many things simultaneously  and I find that I have to drop some and jump on to something else at a moment's notice. It is not always a peaceful feeling. I know I must do it bit by bit, piece by piece, if I must. I should not waste my time thinking and being indecisive. I just need to seize any chance, even if it as simple as putting little things back in its proper place.

   I know that my kids and my husband feel it is not important to keep the house in tip-top shape. I know it will not measure how much they love and appreciate me. But this is how I show my love for them. 

   So there. I just want to get the house in order so I can have real free time to myself and my family. I need to get the house in order so I won't be feeling restless anymore.

Maids

  To maintain a household is a daily commitment that is why we need to hire maids to help us get through the chores of the day. Sometimes, God blesses us with efficient househelp that we wish would stay with us forever. Yet it isn't always like that. It is not uncommon that our househelp have their own off-days-when they have mood swings.

  Due to our many bad experiences with maids, my husband and I sometimes try to hold back being nice because we really think letting down our guard is tantamount to opening a well to familiarity that will only lead to abuso. We've been a victim of that not once but many times already. My husband and I have had our own share of troublesome indays as we have had trustworthy, for keeps indays too.

  I remember the yaya of my three kids who had just left a week ago. She had been with us for five years and we treated her as part of the family. The day came when she found out that she had a lump on her breast. We brought her to our family doctor for check up and the doctor said that she has to go for a mammogram because she had multiple lumps on her breasts. So we decided to let her have a mammography at St. Lukes Hospital. Luckily, the result was good. The lumps on her breasts were found non-malignant. I was so worried of her that I gave her a rosary and I even prayed for her everytime I went to the church. We let her drink lemongrass juice at least seven times a day because we found out from a friend that lemongrass can help cure cancer. A week before Christmas, my husband and I noticed a change in her attitude. She always answers back when we reprimand her about something she did wrong. Then she decided to leave after Christmas. What is worst was that she didn't tell us about her plan of leaving. And before she left, she burned my baby's tongue while feeding him with hot food. I was really disappointed at her that I actually allowed her to leave right away.

  We also had a yaya who tends to hurt my second child when he was still a toddler. She is a very quiet type of person that you can never imagine her doing that. But she did and there were lots of witnesses. 

  Last year January 2008, my wedding ring was stolen by our maid. I thought that she was a trustworthy one but I was wrong. She left the house without permission the moment she heard that I was looking for my wedding ring. We really can't tell if and when they might give in to a moment of weakness.

  Some of our maids before who borrowed money from us when they go back to their province for a vacation didn't come back anymore. They always say that they are coming back in a week but sadly it did not happen. 

  The lessons I've learned from all the experiences we've had is that don't try to be too close to your helpers. Be a friend to them but be strict and firm also on certain things. It is right to treat them like family but always put a limit to it. You're still the employer and they have to respect you. Another lesson is don't trust too much.  Just because you trust them doesn't always mean they will prove worthy of that trust.