Sunday, March 8, 2009

How to keep the music playing?

   All too often, we see women who, in the hustle and bustle of striving to be good homemakers, forget themselves and their personal needs. Specifically, they forget to pamper themselves and in the process end up looking unkempt, plain, and sometimes even disheveled. I'm not saying this is a bad thing but when something can be done, why settle for looking ordinary. Looking good does not have to be expensive, what with the multitude of products available on the market to fit every need, every budget. Before being a mother, remember that you are a wife first. Your husband was and should still be attracted to you.
   Try remembering the first date with your spouse (then boyfriend) when, hours before he was scheduled to arrive, you preened precariously before the mirror making sure that you looked just right. Go back to the time when just thinking of him made you smile, when you couldn't wait to see him and when simply being together was enough.
   I have heard of stories that the most common complaint of wives is that their men don't bother to take them out on dates anymore. To this the men almost always have the same answer: "Our wives don't bother to fix themselves up anymore, secure as they already are that we married them." Marriage should not be a license for us to just sit back, relax and to let nature take its course. One has to constantly work at keeping herself good - in all aspects.
  Of course, there will be times that he will catch you at your unglamorous looks. To think otherwise would be unrealistic. Nonetheless, this should not be the norm. Continue to make an effort to keep yourself  desirable and attractive. In short, don't be a losyang. Stay fit ( by this I don't mean you have to look like a model) and healthy. Take care of your skin. But more than that, please smell good. You owe it to your husband, but more than that you owe it to yourself. 
  Remember to make coming home a pleasant experience for your husband, so much so that he will not dread seeing you at a day's end. Okay, maybe dread is too harsh a word but one should have the right attitude in handling time towards spent together after a long day. It should be relaxing, not stressful. I know it's such a cliche to say that woman shouldn't nag but really, we should not. Talk to your husband but don't whine or complain all the time. 
  Romance shouldn't end where marriage begins. The jaded would probably scoff at my optimism. "Wait till you are 25 years married!" they might say. When we see an old couple holding hands our mindset should not be one of surprise. We should not marvel at how and why they stayed that way, rather we should acknowledge that it is but natural for them to be the way they still are-affectionate toward each other, not marred by time or age.
  Your husband should be the highlight of your day. In some way, however good my day already is I feel better when my husband is home and we have the whole night ahead of us to wrap up the events of the day. We don't sleep angry at each other and never has a day passed when we don't say "I love you" and mean it. We are in our tenth year of marriage and some may say it's premature for me to talk about how to keep the music playing. Idealistic, I maybe. But I have high hopes and I'm going to take it step by step, one day at a time. More importantly, I am going to face the tune and enjoy the dance.

   Marriage is not a bed of roses-I've seen enough break-ups to last three lifetimes but by and large I believe that if there was reason to get together, there must be enough reason, too, for a couple to stay together. All in God's plan all in God's time. True love should bring out the best in you. And while physical beauty should in no way subsist as the be-all and end-all of a happy marriage you owe it to yourself and your spouse to make the best out of whatever attributes God has blessed you with. For beneath the individual layered with stress, responsibilities, mommy-duties, busy schedules and tight workloads lies the woman that your man fell in love with.
   Surface and shine! 

No comments: