Anyway, I need order in the house. Maybe that is why I am restless. The time I am home I constantly feel the need to putter around; I am always tidying up here and there. There is just so much to do. I am busy training my three new household staff right now. One of them is a nanny to assist me with my baby's needs. I had just finished making my housekeeping manual and I'm very much happy about it. Sometimes I feel like a headless chicken. I should be doing everything leisurely, really, because I seriously enjoy and love keeping house. Like the superwoman housewives of old. Like Martha Stewart in her many homes and Ina Garten in her kitchen( Oh, I love them so much!). I like the look and gracefulness of order. I am my own one-woman team so I guess it will just have to take a little longer to happen.
I feel disjointed. I need to do this, but that seems more important right now. I'm running on hope, a plan, a self-esteemed deadline. I am constantly juggling many things simultaneously and I find that I have to drop some and jump on to something else at a moment's notice. It is not always a peaceful feeling. I know I must do it bit by bit, piece by piece, if I must. I should not waste my time thinking and being indecisive. I just need to seize any chance, even if it as simple as putting little things back in its proper place.
I know that my kids and my husband feel it is not important to keep the house in tip-top shape. I know it will not measure how much they love and appreciate me. But this is how I show my love for them.
So there. I just want to get the house in order so I can have real free time to myself and my family. I need to get the house in order so I won't be feeling restless anymore.